Sunday, May 13, 2012
Happy 55th Birthday Dad
Happy 55th Birthday Dad.
Ate steamboat today because it's Dad's birthday. And it's the first time I give Dad a birthday present.
Monday, May 7, 2012
Getting Caught
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Wrist Tattoo (20.4.2012)
After that, lower back and half sleeve. Asked a tattoo shop at FarEast Plaza what's the estimate price for lower back and half sleeve and I send them the pictures.
Tuesday, April 10, 2012
Tuesday, 10.4.2012
Electric passed away today. During School hours, I received Mum's text telling me that Baby has died and her position is sitting down. So I tell myself that I won't cry, it's not really a big deal. Once I reached home, I went to take a look at her cage. She was sitting down, beside her food plate. As usual, she love to eat but no matter how much she eat, her size always remain the same.
My heart feels heavy and I cried. I cried more when Mum text me when I reached home cause my screensaver is a picture of Electric. Touch and took the last picture of her.
Yes, it may be nonsense or childish to you that I cried over a fucking hamster. And no, you don't/will not understand because I've developed a liking feeling for Electric and I take her as my daughter. What's more, it's precious to me because it's Lianna who give it to me.
I still remember that day when Lianna gave it to me, I was feeling very excited inside. Once I reached home, I carried it and put her on my bed. So that she will know my smell. And the reason why I named her Electric it's because she run damn fast when you carry her. I still can't believe that she had passed away because she has no illness or injuries.
Labels: R.I.P Electric
Monday, April 9, 2012
Monday, 9.4.2012
Glad to say that there's 4 girls including me in this course. Became friends with those 3 ladies and a Chinese guy. I only managed to remember one of the girls' name because her name sounds exactly like Lianna. Her name is Liyana if I'm not wrong. And she's very pretty. I don't feel good at all with these new friends because they're all different race from me. I'm not racist about that. It's just that for my whole entire School life (Primary School and Secondary School), my close friends were always the same race as me. Which I'm very comfortable with.
Alright, so here's how it goes. Firstly, I met Lianna in the morning to puff and she's my tour guide. I had to report to West Repertory (Auditorium) which is at Block 2, Level 7. The welcoming/introduction presentation made me sleep, with the help of my elbow. In fact, there's many people who also fell asleep.
Because of don't know which lecturer's fault who guide me to the wrong row, I end up sitting at the Higher Nitec Mechatronics Engineering. I was like, why the hell are there so many girls? I thought it was only a few when I brought my uniforms? Lucky one of the head department called my class advisor. After that, we just toured around the School.
The touring part was bullshit because when it was tea break time, I was walking around searching for the POSB ATM Machine because that's the place we're supposed to assemble. Then there's these Malay and Chinese boys sitting at the bench said loudly ''Aye I like your hair, cool siol!'' when I walked past them. I just looked at them and walk away.
And during my one hour recess, I was walking around AGAIN to search for Block 1, Level 5. It was crowded and I don't know how the hell I walked past them again, which I don't even remember any of their faces. One of them shouted ''Your hair very cute. Can I kiss you?'' when I walked past. I felt damn disgusted and uncomfortable. I just hope that I won't bump into them again.
So now I need to have the habit of walking around the School fast because there will be students looking at my hair. It's either they're disgusted or curious. Surprisingly, I'm not hungry throughout the School hours. I kept thinking about going home.
So today was a long day in School as I'm still not used to the timing. Lucky the class advisor let us off 30 minutes early which is at 3:30 PM. Bid goodbye to the Indian girl and head back home. Changed and wash up before heading to Lot 1 to replace a new hair dryer. Reached home and it's going to be 6 PM already.
Half of my day wasted. So I had to change my jogging routine to night. About 30 minutes after I had my dinner. So it's about 8 PM. It will be a tiring life because when lessons starts on Wednesday, I can't guarantee any early dismissal.
And I'm the youngest in the class. Which they like to sabotage.
And most of the boys there love to kick the door instead of knocking it politely before entering. Which is utterly immature and I really dislike it.
Labels: First Day Of College
Sunday, April 8, 2012
Sunday, 8.4.2012
Alright... so now it's 4:42 AM and I can't go back to sleep. I can't keep my mind off thinking about School tomorrow. The funny thing is I still remember back then, I wanted to go to School damn badly. And now when I'm able to go to School, I want to avoid it and I want my holiday back.
Firstly it's because I really doubt that I can make any new friends because almost 95% of them is boys in my new class. About 1 or 2 girls only. In fact I actually think that I'm the only girl in this fucking course, Mechatronics. But this isn't really the main thing because I can get by since in the past, I'm used to being alone.
Secondly, I think there's ''too many'' breaks. Unnecessary breaks like tea break. And I dislike and like the 1 hour recess. I'd rather they let me off early :( It's because I don't really eat, so I can spend the 1 hour listening to Music and stuff like that. But now there's some fucking problem with my mobile. Sometimes I'm able to switch it on, sometimes not. When I switch it on, there's light on the button but the screen is still black. So how the hell am I gonna listen to Music?
Thirdly, I don't know if I'm able to open up to people because I don't have Lianna beside me anymore. And I'm damn worry about P.E lessons. I bet I'll be standing/walking around there like a bamboo stick. Don't even fucking expect me to play games or anything with boys. Unless I've open up or I've become friends with them. Seriously FML.
*And I need like.. more girl friends. I mean friends that are girls. *
Labels: Going Back To School
Friday, February 24, 2012
Friday, 24.2.2012
I was very disappointed and hurt when Vant told me what Dad talked to her about this morning when I'm away for my morning run. He said to Vant that he thinks I'm homosexual because I always stand up for LGBT. It's actually ''okay'' for him to say that. What's worst was when he said that, he gave those disgusted look. He also said I'm not normal. He even think that one of my friend is my girlfriend which is totally impossible and nonsense.
Sometimes, looking at those Tumblr pictures of Dads holding sign boards supporting their daughters/sons makes me tear up.
''I'm proud of my gay son!''
''We ♥ our daughter and her wife!''
It hurt so much that I want to kill myself. I love Dad so much because he always try his best to give me/provide me the things I want. All I want is him to accept who I am - Bisexuality.
P.S - I wish Dad could stop talking behind my back to Vant or Mum. It makes me feel insecure.
Labels: Acceptance
Wednesday, January 11, 2012
Wednesday, 11.1.2012
-
I'm sick of everyone and everything. It sucks when things doesn't go your way isn't it?
-
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Saturday, 7.1.2012
I thought I could walk the path of having Digital Audio & Video Production as my course, work hard and get into Ngee Ann Poly (Film, Sound & Video course) (just to get a cert). That fucking ruined my life!
Labels: Acer Aspire 4755G
Thursday, December 29, 2011
Thursday, 29.12.2011
It goes like this.. Around 4 PM plus, I received a text from Lianna that I can prepare to get ready to go to her house. Reached her block and I meet her at the 16th floor to puff first. After that, we head back to her house. She opened the door and I went in first.
Shocked to see Willyn holding a small cupcake with a candle on it. Was shocked because beforehand, she text me that she couldn't meet me because of her work. Liar.
Before all the pictures taking, blowing the candle, making birthday wish and eating the pizza, I was forced to wear a ribbon thing on my head. Which makes me look ridiculous :(
After the picture taking, blowing the candle and making birthday wish, they gave me my present. I opened it and it was funny because of the superman undies. But the awesome thing is, I finally get the singlet I've always wanted - Singlet with loose side and the graphic is nice. Totally love it. So basically, my present consists of Superman undies, Singlet with loose side and a pencil case. The pencil case described about my personality if I doesn't want to talk to people :)
After opening my present, we ate. There's two box of pizza, onion ring, cinnamon bread and drinks. It's delicious because it's been a long time since I ate pizza :\
Throughout the celebration, I kept asking them if I can take off the ribbon thing on my head and they said no :( Before I left Lianna's house, we took pictures again. But this time using the polaroid camera. After taking, bid goodbye to Lianna and Willyn. Overall, it was an enjoyable celebration with them :) Once again, thank you girls.
So here's the people I want to thank. Thank you for sending me birthday greetings! Grateful much :)
To those who I've wished you on your birthday and you never wish me, fuck you. I don't need/demand any presents from you. I just want a birthday greeting. I'm happy enough if you wished me. So yeah... here's the awesome people:
Lianna Ma.
Willyn Yeo.
Pal.
Toh XinYi.
Fendy Kor.
Alex Koh.
Mum.
Shannon Vincent.
Kelly Jie.
Wally Toh.
YiBin Eng.
Vant.
MinHui.
Sharon McClean.
Nyssa Lam Chi Kei.
Warren Waffles.
Anna Ling.
Javier Alesana Czy.
Jacqueline Lim.
Jorge Gonzalez.
Karine DozingOff.
Victo Wew.
Jennifer May Estrella Gonzales.
XiaoZhu Pigu Numb Numb.
Raden Ajeng Ariefiani Arifin.
Paige Windsor.
Labels: My 16th Birthday.
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Saturday, 8.10.2011
Yesterday was the last day of my N Level paper. I can’t really describe my feeling. I felt happy and sad at the same time. The reason why I’m sad is because all the past happenings in my secondary school life will be stored as memories in my brain. End of secondary school life = end of teenager days. Still, I’m not prepared to become an adult. As for happy, I can’t wait to work and have a whole make over for the way I dress when I go out.
Even a few months before N Level, I’ve already listed out what I need/want to buy.
Here’s the list:
1. Ipod Nano (16GB) (208$+15$ GST)
2. Radii Moon Walker Shoes (Black): 199$
3. Radii StraightJacket (Black Red): 219$
4. Nike Air Flytop (Black): 189$
5. Puma Suede x Undefeated (Black): 129$
6. Backpack Bag (Black): (Approximately: 80$)
7. Stainless Water Bottle: (Approximately: 20$)
8. Pencil Case: (Approximately: 15$)
9. Stationeries: (Approximately: 15$)
(*I tend to prepare some ‘extra’ money than the exact price in case of some price changed or GST*)
So basically, I always buy things for reasons. I need an Ipod Nano because I know I will need to spend time in School (ITE) for long hours. If I continuously listen music from my mobile, the battery level will decrease very fast. That’s why I need an Ipod Nano. And it’s necessary for me to listen music :\
As for those high cut shoes, like I said, I’m changing the way on how I dress when I go out. For number 6 to 9 is for School needs :)
Alright, let’s talk about my good, close friends.
I just can’t bear to separate with them. Still, what can I do? Life just goes on. Um, I wouldn’t want to type out all the memories I had with them. All those memories are available at my old blog. You can read them if you want to :)
But first, I needa warn you about my typing. Cause the way I typed in the past is seriously
-.-ll
Somehow, I do not wish to make friends with the same character like what my close friends had. I just do not want those new friends of mine in the future to replace them.
Like Lianna, I have to admit her attitude in the past was bad. Now, she improved a lot because of someone she love :) Sometimes without her in School makes me feel damn awkward and shy. Without her, I don’t dare to react ‘big movement’. Like, I can sit down on the chair with my both arms on the table without moving for long hours. Then, my whole arm will go numb. So sometimes, I really need to ‘open up’ a lil bit.
She’s protective too. In the past (Secondary 1 to 2), I often get teased by those malay boys. She’ll stand up for me by telling them to stop it. She’s also the best tag team partner I had whenever we want to talk back to any teachers XD
During my whole year in Secondary school, I also get close with Poh Choo. Which now, she’s my Pal. Whenever I need help, she will try her best to get it or do it for me. Which I really appreciate it a lot :)
When hanging out with her, I will just talk to her about the things which I want to say without considering it. Which makes me feel better too. It’s because, I don’t always talk freely to the people around me. I always keep it to myself. Among my 3 close friends, she’s the one I’m very comfortable with. Maybe it’s because we spend more time with each other.
Not forgetting Willyn :D Whenever I see her around my School, I tend to brighten up a lil bit.
Even thou she left my class when we’re like secondary 2, all those memories are still important to me. She loved to gang up with Lianna and disturb me. For example, when I fall asleep in class, they tend to steal my sweets. Or even touch my boobs.. which I can’t feel anything and continue to sleep. Lmao.
They’re my sweet stealer and I love to share my sweets with them :)
Typing out what I want to say really do make me tear. Totally hate this feeling. My new journey starts next year. My partner in School will change. But still, I will keep in contact with them.
Now… what about Butchy? I hate to leave Butchy as my obsession. As a matter of fact, Butchy knows nothing about how I felt towards Butchy. WTF!! :(
Still, it’s really impossible between us. WEIRD.
This Sunday, I'm going for a job interview. Which is at Somerset. It's a clothing store called Uniqlo. Hopefully I'm able to get into this job because the salary for full time wasn't that bad.
One last thing, I’ve changed my hairstyle to side shaved :) Teehee, like it very much. Like I said, I do everything with a purpose or a reason. Somehow, I want people to know I’m bisexual just by looking at my hair. Side-shaved hairstyle for girls tend to display both a masculine and feminine visage. That’s means, I’m officially looking for someone to love.
Labels: New Journey and New Hairstyle
Monday, July 18, 2011
Sunday, 17.7.2011
Gotten a dog yesterday (Sunday, 17.7.2011) afternoon : ) The breed is black Labrador Retriever dog. It's a male so Mum decided to name it Rocky. It's birthday is on 3rd March.
So yesterday after my home tuition, Mum called home and told David and I to meet her near Bukit Panjang Plaza. We cycled instead of walking. Reached there and waited for about 10 to 15 minutes. Throughout the whole journey back home, we walked.
Mum was the one carrying Rocky. Kinda heavy :\ As we were walking, Rocky fall asleep leaning on Mum's chest. He's enjoying. There's something funny about Rocky was that whenever we put him outside the doorstep, near the lift area or any other unfamiliar place to him, he starts to cry. Or he will cling tightly on the the floor and shiver.
The reason why he will do that it's because he thought that we're gonna abandon/dump him. I'm actually dying to bring him to Zhenghua Park and have a walk after my cycling session everyday but it seems like it's impossible : ( Or maybe it takes time to train him.
It's irritating sometimes because he love to bite stuff. Human feets too. When I was walking from Mum's room to the kitchen, he will follow me. Either biting my feet, moving around my feet to prevent me from walking or placing one of his paw on my feet.
Did some research about black Labrador Retriever. They're active for out-door activities and it's a mouthy dog. That's why they like to bite stuff. So need to buy some squeezable bone or toys to let him bite as his teeth is growing. I don't see his active for out-door because he don't even dare to step out of the house. But he kept running around the living room and kitchen area. So he's active in the indoor.
Time to add Rocky into my life <3
Labels: Rocky
Monday, 18.7.2011 [Rocky's Pictures]
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Tuesday, 5.7.2011
Today, I had so much FUN during P.E lesson : )
Here's the time-table for today.
1. Science (Half an hour).
2. English.
3. Recess.
4. P.E
5. Mathematics.
6. Mother Tongue.
7. CPA.
As per normal, during Science lesson, we do worksheets. After Science, it was English. Miss.Goh was absent from School. A relief teacher came in and we're supposed to do the English Workbook Paper 2.
After English, Recess. Listened to Music while Lianna and Max head down to the Canteen to have their Lunch. The bell rang and recess is over. A few of my classmate asked me why I'm not in my P.E attire. Told them that I'm waiting for Lianna.
After a while, Lianna and Max came. Lmfao, I do not know how did Max manage to wear the P.E shirt around his head except for his eyes. He look like some niqab women. ('niqab', I google for it. Search the google image. Hahah)
Went to the toilet near the Music Room to change. After changing, we head to the Riffle Room because Lianna want to collect something from the nurse. After that, to the Dance Studio because the last P.E lesson, Lianna and I choose Folk Dance. There were a few choices like Badminton, Fitness and Frisbee.
Lianna and I first choose Fitness. But we decided to change. I'm just following her flow : )
Reached outside the Dance Studio. Took off our shoes and socks. Went in and pair with Javier and Lianna.
Mdm.Yeo demonstrate the Russia Dance and half of the class laughed. Mushroom head. Hahah, damn funny and cute. Lianna was the middle girl. So the left and right person beside her is supposed to hold her hand.
At first, I don't dare to hold her hand. I saw everyone is holding each other's hand so I followed. Javier doesn't want to hold Lianna's hand so replaced with Max. Tried following the dance steps like jumping forward with one foot at the time, going under each other's arm and forming into a small circle and move in a direction.
I wasn't willing to do it at first. But I told myself to open up. Everybody is having fun, so why not? True enough, it was really fun. Jian Hui and Max were the funny jokers. Like Max was hiding behind the big box thingy. Jian Hui told Mdm. Yeo that Max went out of the Dance Studio. Mdm.Yeo was heading to the door because she wants to lock it and Max suddenly appear. Mdm.Yeo smiled and the class laughed.
Suddenly, Mdm.Yeo wants me to demonstrate too. I wasn't willing to hold her hand but no choice. GIANT HAND.
Do the dance a few times and it's in my brain. Fun part for me was forming into a small circle, move in a circle direction and I love to use force to drag Lianna around. Sometimes when we were jumping forward with one foot at a time, the next step is to jump backward with one foot at a time. Jian Hui's group clash with the front Girls' group. And everybody in front fall onto the floor.
After a while, we all sat down and Mdm.Yeo talked to us about 'Life' stuff. Quickly take a tissue and clean my forehead because I'm perspiring (I want my fringe to maintain straightness). In fact, everyone was perspiring. After P.E, Mathematics. Then Mother Tongue. Funny and a boring lesson. The class love to make Ah Moi (Mdm. Chang Ngiet Moi) angry.
I was using Lianna's umbrella to hit my right upper arm because it's aching. There she come in front of my table. So I purposely put the umbrella behind her shaggy ass. End up she took it and put it in front of the Teacher's table. Asked Pal to help me take it back.
After MT, CPA. Half of the class do a theory paper because another half went for their N Level English Oral. One of them is Lianna! Hope she'll do well because I know she can. After CPA, went home.
Decided to ride my Bike. Washed my water bottle because I want to refill it with Ice Lemon Tea. Brought my sling bag along. Inside, it contains my water bottle and a knife (for self-protection of perverts). Ride from Zhenghua Park to Jelapang. Back to Zhenghua Park and ride another round at Zhenghua Park. Long distance. That's the reason why I need to drink some liquid.
This Thursday, I'm taking N Level English Oral. It's actually impossible to feel nervous for it. But still, I need to stay calm and relax in order to prevent any silly mistakes.
Butchy~ Where are you? I miss you.
Labels: Fun Time During P.E Lesson
Wednesday, May 18, 2011
Wednesday, 18.5.2011
- Self Hurt Of First Love -
When the world turns quiet, Valdis starts to reminisce the past. Those joyful and painful memories... it flows freely into her mind like blood.
It was all thanks to fate which brought them together - able to in the same class, their School live wasn't boring or tough.
"Valerie, what do you want to eat?" asked Valdis.
"I don't know. Perhaps, I do not want to eat." replied Valerie.
Those expression... It hurts Valdis to see her being like this.
"Here, I've gotten a cup of corn with butter for you. Mix it well." said Valdis.
Valerie looked at Valdis surprisingly,
"What about you?"
Valdis forced her smile at Valerie without an answer.
When Valerie was about to finish her cup corn, the School bell began to ring. Living in their own world, they did not notice that everyone was lining up at the parade square, getting ready to head back to the classroom.
Valdis grabbed Valerie's hand and ran to the parade square. In the nick of time, they managed to follow their class que. As time goes by, Valdis's stomach began to growl. All she had in mind was Valarie. Seeing her happy is enough, without knowing the reason why.
There was once when they were waiting for their extra class to start, they sat on the canteen bench. Valerie sat beside Valdis and held her right hand, looking at her beautiful pinky finger.
"One day, I will cut off your pinky finger and replace it with mine." said Valerie.
"I will agree to it but save some money for the operation first!" laughed Valdis.
With Valerie's hand holding onto Valdis's pinky finger, Valerie laid her head on Valdis's shoulders.
This moment... Valdis wished the time could stop. Yet another painful but happy memory for her the next time. When they spend their School life together, Valdis was always the one putting efforts in this relationship. Making Valerie happy no matter what.
When they reached Grade 3, fate decided to separate them. First few days after their lessons, they will meet up with each other. Talk like they never talk before, laugh like they never laugh before.
One thing Valdis did not know was why they stop meeting each other. Soon, they lost the communication of friendship. As years goes by, the word 'strangers' is what they have in mind.
Every break time, Valdis was always alone. She only had a few friends because she don't speak much to people around her. Thinking....... and thinking. Valdis is always in a deep thought. Valerie and her new friends were chatting and laughing happily beside the bench where Valdis sits. She treats Valdis as an invisible tool. All Valdis hope was Valerie, too look at her once again.
Reality is always cruel. Up till now, 13th May 2011, they did not communicate. The only thing Valdis did was adding Valerie in Facebook.
Valdis began to cry when she reminisce those memories. Slitting her wrist, she thought,
"Why?"
"Why must you do that to me?"
"Does our memories even exist to you?"
The worst part was, no one was there to comfort her when she's in pain.
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Labels: Self Hurt Of First Love
